A First For Me

It's holiday season and for the first time ever I'm just not that into it. Not that I'm against it, or depressed about it or that I don't want to partake in it. I just don't feel it. I'm not in the mood to get all geared up. The holiday shopping, the parties. Albeit I've done quite a bit on the holiday dress front, but as for the actual holiday. I'm just not interested.

Maybe it's because I've had huge Christmases for the last three years. Two at my own house with lots of friends and family and one in Australia with more friends and family. As much as I loved those occasions they kind of wore me out. It's a lot of work this Christmas cheer.

I don't even want to Christmas shop. I'm broke anyway. That's where the working part-time hasn't worked out for me. I honestly do not have the cash to do Christmas I'd normally do. Strangely enough instead of feeling bummed out, I'm actually relieved.

So I'm making lots of holiday gifts. Scarves, sweaters, bags, baby booties etc.

Because you know. I just haven't knitted enough this year.

On the book front I did get a confirmation receipt from the book publishers, which was a victory in itself. They didn't take one look at it and say "Return to sender" Score one for me!

Also I finally watched La Vie En Rose. I'd been wanting to watch this film for ages, but just never got around to it. I'm so glad I waited. You know how you end up seeing things at exactly the right time you're meant to see them? It's a beautiful, untraditional biopic. Some people found the editing to be a bit unsettling, especially the juxtaposition of Edith Piaf's childhood scenes and adulthood scenes. However I felt the whole thing to be so thoroughly French. It wasn't your typical Hollywood biopic and the American audience is so used to seeing stories presented in a cut and dry fashion. A causes B, which causes C, very linear. La Vie En Rose takes a different approach focusing on emotional nuances. Anyway... I found it fascinating. The thing I love about the French is that their national identity is so profoundly human, it comes from a place of universality whereas others can be a bit more "holier than thou" and exclusive. Perhaps that's why so many people wish they could be French.

Anyway it has been a good week. I am thoroughly happy.

GG

Ok, it's out of my hands

The book proposal was mailed today. There were a few comedic errors that prevented me from sending it yesterday, but it's out and now it's up to someone else.

party time excellent.

GG

Mark My Words

The Book Proposal is going out TOMORROW.

Anything But Hear The Voice

Crazy times.

Around me my friends are breaking up with lovers, moving house, and serving jury duty.

Yet everything remains the same for me.

Or not.

I could finish the book proposal this week and have it mailed out by FRIDAY.

The only thing stopping me: I need people to read through it and offer editorial advice.

I better get on that so here's a few photos to keep you busy

The first fire of the year


and

The In Rainbows Socks

Clean Sweap

Today was a housework day. I hardly did anything on the book. I bought a new piece of furniture last week and one must do some rearranging to make full use of the new item. I got rid of some books, moved books, looked at books. books books books. And after 90 minutes my living room looks 62% more liveable. There's something therapeutic about this process for afterwards a calm came over me that I usually associate with a yoga session. And this good feeling (cue Violent Femmes) lasted the whole day. A stillness of mind, a realigned spirit. It remains even now, after grocery shopping, meal cooking and bill paying. I suppose this means I'm going to have to clean more. Strange how I also usually associate this frame of mind with knitting... hmmmm.

Since I was organizing, I figured I might as well go to the Container Store to get some magazine boxes. Which meant I also had an excuse to swing by the bookstore and pick up the new Vogue Knitting. It's beautiful and all, but it's expletively annoying that the patterns I want to knit are the downloadable ones off the Vogue Knitting website. You know what I'm talking about -all those beautiful patterns at the front of the magazine? Gorgeous, simple use of intriguing stitch patterns and silhouettes. Quelle suprise. Still, I'm glad I got it.

I've developed something of a coffee habit. In that I stopped by Peet's Coffee to read my Vogue Knitting. It was lovely. I was wearing a sleeveless cotton top and it was warm enough that I did not require a cardigan. Apparently there is such a thing as summer in Marin County. For about 40 minutes I felt like I was on vacation, the whir of the freeway substituting the crashing sway of the ocean. My arms even got a little tan, well at least my cluster-freckle version there of.

I took a moment from the cleaning to take a few photos of the few knitting projects I'm able to show you. Socks are my escape from book knitting. I'm not a fancy sock knitter. People send me sock patterns and sock books, but I'm usually happy with a simple rib, or endless stockinette. Socks for me are the thoughtless project. I get frustrated when socks carry on too long because I want to move off onto the next sock project, the new superduper magical hand dyed sundae of a sock yarn. There's no time for cabling in my sock project. That's what scarves and sweaters are for.

So voila:

These are the finished Phoenix socks, which I started to cheer myself up after I got laid off:


They certainly did the trick. It was hand-dyed Schaeffer Anne. It's beautiful to knit with, but it's fine fingering weight and it took dog's years to finish. I'm happy how similar the two socks look. And indeed I have resurrected myself since losing the FYC job. I was reading through my book submission materials and I'm pretty far along.

Ironically, I just have to get the silly thing organized.

Just the thought of that freaks me out. I'm at a point where I could actually submit the book proposal. Ack. The only thing stopping me is myself. Weird. I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I didn't think I'd be here this soon. I should be celebrating.

Back to socks:

Here is sock one of the Page Mill Farm hand dyed yarn. Sock two has been cast on, but has been neglected in the name of book knitting for a while



Never have I been more satisfied with a sock yarn. It knits up quickly and have a beautiful loft. The colors are varied and vibrant. Dreamy.


GG

Uh, I Feel Sick

That's what my mom says whenever she is presented with something she doesn't agree with or doesn't want to do. It's always said in good humor. But really right now, I feel sick. A little queasiness to the tummy right now. I don't know if it's the bbq I just ate or the Thai food I had for lunch, but I'm not feeling so good.

Maybe it's that I just cast on the Tulip Jacket and I used the incorrect cast-on method and it looks crap. So I've totally undone the first 8 rows. Ripping back never feels good. Monsieur G is once again on the Xbox, testing out the new John Woo video game. I don't think there are enough bullets in all of America to account for all of the shots in this game, but I'm not so into the shooter games anyway.

So I'm in the craft room again procrastinating when I should be working on the book. I've made some good progress in the last couple of days. Now I'm working on two full-size projects at the same time -including an entirely *new* one. Monsieur G wants to see more physical proof, actually writing of the book. How convenient that our printer is out of ink!

But still I'm hoping that I'll spend a sizeable amount of time tomorrow going through the submission guidelines and typing out my official responses.

Otherwise this Sunday was rather uneventful. It took me most of the morning and early afternoon to boot up the old brain. I found a way to watch season 4 of Kath and Kim and got caught up on Flight of the Conchords. hardy har har.

Maybe I'll procrastinate some more tomorrow and take some knitting photos. But for now I'm on a roll on a story I want to write about knitting geeks.

GG

This Is More Like It

I've had my head in the clouds for the last couple of weeks. Change is imminent and I've been acting out like a toddler still learning the meaning of the word no. But that's all over and I've become more disciplined again.

Finished another pattern for the book today. Searched out and found a new piece of furniture off Craigslist and got it for less then half the value. Fingers crossed that I'll be able to fit it into my car.

and.

I'm cleaning the craft room. This time it's messy from actual use, a nice change of pace for me.

But that's not all folks. I also went out and socialized, taking coffee with my knitting partner-in-crime Izzytart. I'm going to have to do that more often. It keeps me motivated knowing I have to get a whole bunch of stuff done before I can go and meet up with Izzy.

The strangest thing happened today too.

I got a false start getting out the door for coffee. I had to put gas in my car, but once I got to the gas station, I found that I had forgotten my wallet. Instead of berating myself I wondered what the universe had in store for me since I had made such a stupid mistake. Then driving down the 101 towards Izzy's work, I realized I was superbly early, so I turned around and went to Barnes and Noble to pick up the new issue of Interweave and Craft. I stopped by the craft section to see if any new titles were out and found a man perusing a knitting book who wasn't Warren of Marin Fiber Arts fame. I wanted to pester the man, but didn't want to disturb his knitting book reverie. So I grabbed my magazines and headed to the counter where a nice middle aged gentlemen rang me up. Gazing upon my purchases he looked at me over his glasses and said "Knitter aye?" (all Canadian style) and I nodded and smiled. He got a knowing gleam in his eye and admitted, almost sheepishly.

"I'm a knitting widow"

It was the highlight of my day. I wish I had recorded it, the way he described his partner's knitting habit. It was full of respect and awe, an appreciation of the peace that fulfills her when she knits. I hope whoever that lady is knows what a lovely partner she has. He even went so far as to say that I should submit my knitting book to Interweave Press. And he even knew who that was.

I'm back on the horse. Giddee up m.f.

GG

Unemployed? Maybe Not Much Longer.

It's Friday and I'm finally over the jet lag. Jeeeeez. My sleeping pattern has been awful! It's a good thing I'm unemployed or I probably would have gotten fired by whatever employment I had.

Anyhoo there is a possible job on the horizon. I interviewed yesterday and it went well. I have another interview on Monday. It's for a pretty big corporation and I've never worked in corporate so I'm a little worried that the position might be a bit much for me. However, there's the possibility that this could be the perfect full-time position for me. My coworkers would be around my age, it's all stuff that's within my skill set, there's a huge training program to make sure you have all the right information, and it's a corporation that has a really good reputation for taking care of it's employees.

The only down side is that I would have to work longer hours and thus lose lots of time writing my book. But on the other hand I would be making good money working for a good company.

Can you tell that I'm trying to psyche myself up for this?

Everyone I know that I've told about this job opportunity has been confused because I've actually been looking for a part time job so I can write the book.

I like the idea of working part-time, but not so much the idea of not making a lot of money, and smelling like coffee, or breaking my back in retail, or running into people I used to work with and serving them coffee, explaining that no, I'm not a mcjob loser I'm actually spending all my free time writing a book. And then get that doubtful look from them like "good luck weird knitter girl".

Ah pride. Is it really that important?

Now these obnoxious self help maxims keep floating around my head, like we create our own barriers to success or the harder path yields the most opportunities.

There's the distinct possibility that if I take the safe job option with the groovy corporation that I would be repeating the same mistake I've been making for the last 5 years and end up unhappy in the end, again.

However the difference between this time and last is that I actually have a palpable goal that I can achieve. The thing is that I'm afraid to fail. I'm afraid that I'm going to write this book and no one is going to be interested in it and that I'm going to waste all my time. I'm afraid that I'm not ready to write this book. But that's all bullshit, if you pardon my french.

Because if you're a Dune reader like I am you know that fear is the mind killer.

And if you look at my choices just through that lens, the clear choice is to find a part time job and write the book.

Well at least I am presented with 2 good choices. It's a win win really, either I take a good job, or I work on the book. It's nothing life threatening. At least the difference in the past five years is that there really is something I love to do, that I'm naturally good at, that brings me mountains of joy.

speaking of joy: please visit my friend Knitabulous at Pick Up Sticks. She just awarded me a prize for being her 50,000th visitor. I've mentioned her before because she is an AMAZING lace knitter. Seeing as my first attempt at micro lace was an unmitigated distaster (I blame the stitch markers) I am in awe of her work.

Also I want to post more Japan photos so be on the lookout for that.

GG

A Glimpse At A Past Life

A long time ago in a land far away I was a film geek. I would watch 2 to 3 films a day, upto if not more than 8 films a week. Nothing made me feel more alive than movies. To this day one of my favorite things in the entire universe is to cry at the movies. More often than not, I am crying in pure joy, happy to have experieneced something in film that mirrors my life in such a way that it makes me feel that there's a kindred spirit in the world and that I am not alone.

When I was a film geek, I felt destined to go to LA and try my hand at the film industry. I got a BA in film, had a small portfolio of crappy student films and a few feeble attempts at screenwriting.

But then I met my husband to be when I was least expecting it and I ended up with him and not going to LA. I feel no regrets about this. One of my favorite things about life is how it often takes totally unexpected paths. If I truly wanted to be in LA, I would have ended up in LA.

But tonight I experienced what life might have been like had I chosen that path. One of my best friends celebrated her new job, a position that moves her to the next step of what turns out to be a career.

Instead of retreating to my hotel room after dinner, I felt inspired to go out, maybe it was that tasty cosmopolitan I had with dinner. So I hopped in a cab and met my friends at the Pig and Whistle in Hollywood. It was like a huge film school party, except that I didn't know anyone. I had a pear cider and became nostalgic for college. This is funny because I suddenly have as much freedom as I did when I was in college, not having a job and all. And it made me realize that I am as happy now as I was in the zenith of my years at university.

Anyway, as it is in LA, the main topic of conversation; especially for someone new to the group, is the discussion of what one does. And it was rather liberating to announce that I am writing a knitting book. Of course knitting to these people is about as ambitious as say breeding children or maintaining a house. And the puzzled faces of the group made me long for a group of knitters who would all nod their heads enthusiastically and offer to knit samples for me.

However I was reminded that there was a time when I used to read scripts and write script notes so I'm going to try that again and maybe do some script reading this week whilst in la la land. Lord knows after those cab fares I could use the cash.

This is all so darned therapuetic.

Que sera sera.

GG

My Little Snowglobe World Is Shaken

A funny thing happened to me last weekend. As I was reaching to pick up my handbag I bumped my head on a bookcase. Mr. G witnessed the head bumping and asked me if I was alright. "No" I said. Not only was I in pain, but bumping my head is usually a harbinger of bad things. Not terrible, just unexpected unfortunate things. When I told Mr. G this he laughed it off and called me silly.

Indeed the first few days after banging my head were fine, uneventful even, but then yesterday I got laid off by the Fabulous Yarn Company. I had an inkling, but perhaps I didn't want to accept it. The bosses were great, very sympathetic and unhappy that they had to lay off an employee. I think they felt worse about it than I did. I'm one to accept things as they come to me, and later one feel awful about them. There are no hard feelings about FYC and I will always say nice things about their yarn.

That said though, there's still disappointment and what does the wise women do when laid off and suddenly unemployed?

She does as the Manolo and goes shoe shopping.

And she buys a pair of jeans because when you find a pair that fits you cannot let them go, even if you're unemployed.

But truly, I'm doing alright, even if my brain couldn't stop thinking last night and I couldn't get to sleep. This time will be a gift b/c I can't really get a new job before I go to Japan and I don't want to find just any job. I want to find the right job. I also want to consider going back to school.

So what am I going to do with the next couple of weeks before Japan?

Well, I'm going to write a book proposal. I have a heap of knitting pattern ideas and I have been collecting the yarn to make them.

I really don't have anything to lose.

Suddenly I feel much better,

GG