Thursday, June 09, 2005


June is a good month and not just because its my birthday. Well maybe this June is particularly good because my birthday celebration lasted more than a week. A special thank you again to all of my friends family and coworkers for making my birthday absolutely fabulous!

Secret Pal 5 is in action and I'm enjoying emailing my secret pals. I'm impressed that I always get paired up with interesting people. You knitters are a fascinating bunch. Blah I wish I had more to say. Things have been really good. I've been eating entirely too much. I had some fabulous Crab Bisque at Bungalow 44. It was so good that every day at lunch time I fantasize that I'm sipping Crab Bisque instead of chomping down on last night's leftovers. Many thanks to R and R for treating me for my birthday. It was an unforgettable dinner.

Last Friday as you may know I went out with some of my friends. I planned this event for two reasons. One: to fete my birthday but also two : to see if any of my girlfriends might like any of my guy friends. Time will tell, but I think something's bubbling. I'm such a trouble maker, but the people in question are fabulous, intelligent people who have had bad luck in this arena. I've done my part playing kismet in bringing them together.. as I'm fond of saying only time will tell...

Time will tell in two weeks when my pal J has a house partay. The theme is "What the f*ck", meaning "I'll go to the party with a lampshade on my head -what the f*ck?" or "I'll wear a Homer Simpson mask to the party -what the f8ck?". I think I may go wearing a purple wig a la Charlotte in Lost In Translation (but also with a tiara -how often do I get to wear a tiara in public ?)

So this summer is panning out to be quite memorable. I've made new friends and been much more sociable, which even my pal Tai has noticed, who normally condemns my lack of a social life. Things are falling into place. Luke and I have cleared a major hurdle in our lives so we're focusing on enjoying ourselves. I'm feeling so good that i'm realizing that there only a few truly memorable eras in my life. The rest of the time life is difficult and you struggle, but unexplicably, there are times when magic happens and everything is how you want it to be. Or perhaps you're more ready to accept things the way they are, allowing you to truly enjoy what you have. The other times when this happened was when I was 13 years old, when I switched middle schools and finally met people who understood my quirky sense of humor and unusal taste in clothes (I wore a black beret everyday in middle school to remind me of my dream of travelling to France). That was a magical year because I didn't just have one friend, I had a whole group of friends. This was short lived in that I moved away the next year and had to start over again. But still I recall it as a special time. The first time I felt accepted for who I was anywhere.

The second time I felt this kind of bliss was when I travelled to Paris with my high school and stayd with a French family. I never thought I would leave New England, let alone the United States (though you would think moving to California might give me some hope). I never thought I would get to France, but go to Paris I did -sans famille and it changed my life. I was liberated by the idea that I didn't know anyone in this country and i would never see any of these people again. I felt free to be myself and to not care what people thought, even though I was hesitant to speak the French I had worked so hard to learn, I still felt free because I had to get around on my own in a foreign city and I did it. This was the first time that one of my dreams came true and the first time I felt fearless.

The last time I felt this good was when I broke up with my exboyfriend of four years. I had made a heap of friends in film school and i spent the summer doing anything and everything I wanted, following every inspired whim and impulse. Admittedly some of it was dangerous, and some of it I look back and it makes me cringe, but it was freedom, absolute freedom and I never learned more about myself. I had a heap of friends, watched a ton of movies and literally danced my ass off. It was the summer I met my husband, the last summer of no responsibility. I wish I had appreciated it more, but I don't long for that time at all. I just remember it fondly.

There was a short time -the summer of 1999 was wonderful. I spent it at UCLA where I hung out exclusively with international students. It was like going abroad without going abroad. Again it was a time of friends and lots of movies. I suppose I am happiest when I am surrounded by interesting people and going to the movies frequently.

What's great is that I know that another memorable summer is ahead of us and that we have to grab it by the horns and open all the doors to allow it to be as good as it can be. I'm going to make my own ice cream, I'm going to hang out at the Thursday Night Farmer's Market, I'm going to have lunch with Anne, have cocktails in my backyard, play tennis with Luke, going to write that screenplay, go away for a weekend, and hopefully have enough time to make quilts and knit tank tops.

Hope you all have a fabulous summer because mine starts NOW.


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