Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Marie Antoinette Syndrome

Hung out in the city again last night. I'm envious of all of the old houses, the public transportation, the walking distance to everything, and the endless possibilities.

Past fantasies. Forgotten realities. I'm taking so much for granted it's just silly. I'm learning more and more what a ridiculous woman I am in the face of change. How I take perfectly good opportunities and ruin them with weakness.

I should be strapped to a chair in front of a computer getting all of the real work done, instead of distracting myself constantly. I need a non-internet connected computer. Or to be stuck in a shack in the middle of Oregon with a generator, camp stove, paper, and pen. I am so undisciplined.

But this ennui is a temporary place setting for what is soon to come, swiftly and without warning.

I hope that I will be stronger for it.


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